I can't lie 2011 was a real B****! I have a hard time accepting that G and I are still not parents. I can feel my attitude worsening and wonder if I am giving up hope. People mean well but comments like, "If you stop thinking about it you will get pregnant, Relax and it will happen, Maybe you just need to get shitfaced and you will get pregnant or my favorite...If you adopt a baby you will end of pregant"...are so hurtful! I can hardly go to Walmart without seeing a crying baby and an irritated mother when all I want to tell her her is how lucky she is and how I would willingly take that baby...but I don't....I don't want to be arrested at Walmart!
I am currenly going low carb (which is not helping my attitude) and am going to accupuncture once a week (those who know me know how deperate we must be for a baby for me to willingly allow someone to put needles into me).
I also wonder...should I even do another IVF. Adoption is a guarantee and if we do adopt I would not want my child to think that they were a conselation prize.
Look forward to encouraging you on your journey...and especially looking forward to the inevitable amount of humor that I know will be in your posts :) Love & luck sista!
ReplyDeleteI'll be staying tuned, Beth... 2012 is the year of the child! For the record, there's nothing wrong with being arrested at WalMart. TIP: I learned the third time that if you ask nicely, they will bring you out back to cuff you and exit through the rear staff entrance behind the dairy section.
ReplyDeleteEveryone has heard stories about the many people who struggle to conceive a child, but your story is unique and very personal to you, Geoff, and the people who care about you. Thank you for being open and honest about your experience. Hopefully we can support you as well as be a captive and lively audience. You are such a wonderful people that no matter how you end up being parents I know you will be the best. If you were to adopt I don't think your child would ever feel that they were a consolation prize because they wouldn't be. Just because you strongly desire the experience of feeling life move within you doesn't mean you wouldn't equally love a child that comes into your life through other means.
ReplyDeleteSo excited to follow your journey!! I am all to familiar with well meaning friends. I know they mean well but when you want something so bad and you feel you will never get it, it doesn't help. Al and I also had a hard time getting preg. It was a long 4 years. It seemed even longer because every around us was having babies. To make matters worse I work in childcare and see parents who should not be parents, it tore my heart out. Finally be the grace of God, it happened for us, however it wasn't a easy ride. I was very sick, lost 80 pound(not a bad side affect) but it put the baby in danger, lots of scares and 18 ultra sounds later we had our child. The only one we would have, due to the preg. I was not able to carry anymore. I pray for you and your husband that you get to experence the joy of having a baby, however in the end if you adopt there is no way that child would feel second best. That child would grow up knowing how much you wanted them. They may not of grown in your belly but they did in your heart and the love of wanting a child so much. Its a win win! <3 I will be praying for you and wish you guys all the best.
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