1 Week Pregnancy

The best week of life so far ended this morning 1/24/2012. I was pregnant for a week...well "technically speaking" pregnant for 5 weeks but I only knew for a week. Oh, the plans I made in my head....how I was going to tell people the great news, arrange the baby's room, find day care for when I had to go back to work and most importantly when to make it "Facebook Official". It was a busy but short  week in my head as I am now no longer pregnant. To short to in my opinion to consider it a miscarriage but the longest pregnancy I have had yet. I don't know how many more times I can be on this roller coaster of infertility...is it time to get off and go forward with adoption? When is enough..enough? God only gives us what we can handle but today I feel like I have had more than my fill. My husband reminded me that he to is grieving this brief loss of a dream..and that I am not alone.

Confused

I keep going back and forth about if we should do another round of IVF or head to adoption. I want a baby and I am not to hung up on how I get it. I am concerned about the disappointment if this next round doesn't work while adoption is a guarantee...

Accupuncture 101

So this is what accupuncture looks like. This is my second "go around" of this while preparing for another round of IVF. I have found a great place http://rockycoastacupuncture.com/index.php in Portland, Maine. They are not to "hokey" for me and they have a great sense of humor (as you can see). I am trying to adhere to their recommendation of eating less t 60 carbs a day but I must admit it is SO HARD!!! There is a lot of research that this works and I believe them..doing it is the problem! I want a child more than anything else in the world!!!!!!!!!!

The picture above is of my cankles...notice the wires (my accupuncturist Chris) was send sonic waves in my stomach to help with ovulation...depserate times call for deperate measures!

Happy New Year...

I can't lie 2011 was a real B****! I have a hard time accepting that G and I are still not parents. I can feel my attitude worsening and wonder if I am giving up hope. People mean well but comments like, "If you stop thinking about it you will get pregnant, Relax and it will happen, Maybe you just need to get shitfaced and you will get pregnant or my favorite...If you adopt a baby you will end of pregant"...are so hurtful! I can hardly go to Walmart without seeing a crying baby and an irritated mother when all I want to tell her her is how lucky she is and how I would willingly take that baby...but I don't....I don't want to be arrested at Walmart!
I am currenly going low carb (which is not helping my attitude) and am going to accupuncture once a week (those who know me know how deperate we must be for a baby for me to willingly allow someone to put needles into me).
I also wonder...should I even do another IVF. Adoption is a guarantee and if we do adopt I would not want my child to think that they were a conselation prize.